Why Do the Mets Hate Us?

It’s official. The Mets hate us. In games that we have went to this year, they are 1-5. Ok, ok, you can blame that on the fact that we have seen R.A. Dickey and Chris Capuano 3 times each so far, but still, they should be a lot better. To make it even worse, since the games we went to last week, they have been 3-0, beating the Giants once and the Dodgers twice. They even ended Andre Ethier’s 30 game hitting streak tonight. So why are they so bad when we go? And who are the real Mets? The ones we know, or the ones that we are seeing play now? They also have had a 5 game winning streak this year (https://kimhadhumps.wordpress.com/2011/04/27/out-of-the-blue-the-mets-have-won-five-games-in-a-row/). These Mets look like they can possibly even be a playoff team, but when we attend their games, they look worse than the Nationals and Pirates put together. The solution is for us to boycott the Mets until they prove to us who they truly are.

So I have a proposal. This may be very shocking to some and it may be very dangerous. Next week, the Kansas City Royals will be in town. At Yankee Stadium. Now, the Royals are a complete joke and they have been for the last 20 years, so there’s nothing to worry about with them (Jose Lima is their best player in the last 20 years). But the Yankees on the other hand, are not a joke and visiting Yankee Stadium would be going to new territory for us. We have never been to the stadium of a non-joke team. However, there will still be many joke aspects to the game. First of all, on stubhub, we can buy tickets for $2 for these games. Nobody wants to see the Royals. $5 will get us upper deck behind home plate, which is not a bad seat. Secondly, we still get to see the Royals even though they are playing the Yankees. Their ace is Luke Hochevar and their best hitter is Melky Cabrera (or at least my favorite hitter). Third of all, the Yankees are my favorite baseball team and I have not been to a game this year. I know it may be shocking but I think we should go to a Yankees-Royals game.

Yankee Stadium

Luke Hochevar

Mets-Giants Game 2 Recap

This was definitely the worst Mets game that we went to this year. The biggest reason for this was the weather. It was just freezing. It was even too cold to write down the funny moments of the game on my iPod. I had to put my hands in my sweatshirt the entire night except for when we had our peanut disaster. And even the peanuts were especially horrible today. A very large percentage of them were perfume nuts (the “P” in peanuts stands for perfume and they are disgusting). The game was terribly boring also. The pitching matchup featured Chris Capuano (who we saw for a third time (ewwww)) against Tim Lincecum. Between the 6 Mets games we have went to so far this year, we have seen a total of 2 Mets starters, The Dick and Cappuccino. Terrible. However, Cappuccino was surprisingly ok tonight, only giving up 2 runs, but against Tim Lincecum, that was 2 runs too many. Tim struck out 12 Mets and the Mets struck out 16 times over the course of the game. That’s just awful. I know Lincecum is an excellent pitcher, but they couldn’t even get the ball in play. Lincecum pitched 7 scoreless innings and the San Francisco bullpen finished off the game. There was very little offense or excitement in this game, with the only two runs being scored on singles by Pat Burrell and Mike Fontenot. This made sitting through the cold even worse. However, there were a few interesting things to say about this game:

• For the first time ever (including Nets games), we were kicked out of our seats by people that were actually sitting there. I was pretty shocked. We were sitting in the front row of the upper deck behind home plate (where we sat for the whole game last night) when someone said that it was their seats. After looking around for a few minutes, we finally settled on the first row of the upper deck on the first base side, which is where we watched most of the game.
• In maybe the 5th inning when it was freezing, it started drizzling for a few minutes. Because it was so cold, I think it actually may have been snowing. It was also extremely windy. This was an extremely difficult game to sit through, especially when it is snowing in May.
• When I couldn’t stand the cold any more, I took a huge risk. I decided to try Citi Field hot chocolate. It was a mistake. The hot chocolate was very average tasting and it was only warm. The only reason I got it was to warm me up, but instead it was not hot and gave me a stomachache. Ok, I might be exaggerating, but still, it was very disappointing.
• In the 8th inning, we decided to go to section 401. What is section 401, you ask? See my next article to learn more and see pictures.
• After we left, we were waiting for the train for 20 minutes in the cold. It was pretty awful. Especially because we could see the train a few feet away and it just wasn’t going to the station.
• I think that Pepsi Max has decided to stop giving out free samples at Mets games. I think that they have just given up on Mets fans ever liking their terrible soda. The only time I got it, I brought it onto the train, had one sip, and spilled the rest out onto the train platform. It was a disaster.

The next Mets game that we plan on attending will be Monday, May 16 unless we go to Mets-Dodgers on Friday, although it is unlikely. They will be playing the Florida Marlins. Expect more disgusting baseball then.

Mets-Giants Game 1 Recap

As I begin my first article since coming home from Aruba at 12:45 AM, I am still amazed at the game that I just witnessed. The Giants beat the Mets 7-6 in 10 innings and it had to be one of the worst games I had ever seen. Unfortunately, I am too tired to post the plot of the game, so instead I will just write the hilarious things that happened. Also, expect many typing mistakes in this post because I am not currently awake.

• As we were leaving the subway station and approaching Shitty Field, we saw someone with a black Mets jersey. Instead of a player name being on the back, instead it just had the word “bad” and the number 1. This did not surprise me at all. Only the Mets would have fans that so blatantly, meanly, and rudely make run of their own team. I hope to see more disgusting customized jerseys in the future. The jersey looked something (or exactly) like this:

Typical Mets

• During the game tonight, the Mets had all these random culture things that we had never seen before. It was as if the Nets had combined all of their nights of culture into one awful night. Every few innings, they had Chin-Lung Hu come onto the big screen and say something in Chinese. It was extremely random. They also had other languages like Korean and Japanese and they had videos talking about their cultures. Unfortunately, there were no live performances like the Nets did at halftime of games.
• The starting pitcher for San Francisco tonight was Ryan Vogelsong. Out of all of the great Giant pitchers (Lincecum, Cain, Sanchez, Bumgarner), we happened to get Vogelsong. I wasn’t surprised at all. We also saw R.A. Dickey tonight for the third time in 5 games we have went to this year. The Mets are 0-3 in those games.
• There was a matchup tonight between Vogelsong and Lucas Duda. It doesn’t get any grosser.
• The Giants first run of the game came on an RBI by, of all people, Vogelsong. There were runners on 1st and 2nd with no one out when he came up, and everyone in the stadium was expecting him to bunt. Instead, he hit a line drive up the middle and got an RBI. What a great way to get your first hit of the year, Ryan!
• The Giants won the World Series last year, but it sure wasn’t because of their hitting. Their 3rd hitter tonight was Mike Fontenot. Really? He’s awful. How can he be a 3rd place hitter on a playoff team? Answer: He can’t.
• I personally love the Giants bullpen. 2 greats we saw tonight were Jeremy Affeldt and Guillermo Mota. They also have Ramon Ramirez, among others. In 2/3 of an inning, Affeldt proceeded to throw 26 pitches to 3 hitters. That is almost 9 pitches per hitter. Wow.
• With the bases loaded in the 9th inning with a tie score and one out, Josh Thole came up to bat. All he needed to do was hit the ball to the outfield. Instead, he grounded into a double play. And not just any double play. It was a 1-2-3 double play. Pitcher to catcher to first base. It doesn’t get much sadder. It’s disgusting that the Mets can’t find a way to do anything at all. The first batter in the top of the 10th for the Giants hit a homer and the game was over. This was such a typical Mets performance. After the double play, Shea began playing funeral music and people started heading to the exits. Way to keep your fans interested, Mets.
• When Chin-Lung Hu came to bat in the 10th, his picture and stats came up on the big screen. However, there is a problem with this. His batting average appears to be lower than his on-base percentage. I have no idea how this is possible, but either way, a .077 batting average will not get it done.

Chin-Lung Hu

• Most of the above was more about the game itself, but now I will move on to our own personal jokes. The two people sitting next to us were absolute jokes. The man was probably over 300 pounds and probably over 30 and the woman was pretty good looking and possibly under 20. We had no idea how this relationship would be possible unless the guy was really rich, so he had to assume this. Also, they left the game every inning it seemed to go buy more food. Even though the girl had nothing to drink, she was acting drunk the whole game. After the 9th inning, the two left and missed the homer in the top of the 10th. They came back for the bottom of the inning, complaining about how terrible the Mets are and the woman is talking about her “cigarette break”. She still wanted to act like she was drunk. Oh yeah, and the guy acted like what we thought Matt Weber would act like at a baseball game. I don’t know why, he just did.

Matt Weber

• There was another peanut disaster tonight under our seats. Raphi owes me a crushing of peanuts.
• We printed out a scorecard tonight at home before we went to the game. This was the first scorecard I have filled out this year, and I will probably not do one again, so enjoy it while it lasts. I brought it to the game in my not once used LQ folder from this year. I finally found a purpose for Jewish Studies! Also, we filled out some all star ballots with our favorite joke players. I hope Raphi remembered to put them back in the ballot box because I forgot to remind him. See pictures below.

Scorecard

All Star Ballot

All Star Ballot

Assortment of Goodies

Preview of Mets – Astros

Jonah and I will be in attendance at tonight’s Mets – Astros game. Thus, a preview is in order.

To begin, here are some depressing Mets interviews after the Mets – Astros game: (It’s so easy to laugh at (not with) Terry Collins.)

http://service.twistage.com/plugins/player.swf?p=link&v=e5610270e287e

Next, 2 articles of sad news:

• Pat Misch was waived, cleared waivers, and demoted to Triple A Buffalo. (Metsblog.com)
• Bobby Parnell was placed on the 15 day DL for numbness in his right, middle finger. The Mets training staff believes it has to do with poor blood circulation. (NBCSports.com)

R.A. Dickey

And, tonight’s Mets starting lineup (according to Metsblog.com):

1. Jose Reyes (.299)
2. Josh Thole (.260)
3. David Wright (.254)
4. Carlos Beltran (.250)
5. Ike Davis (.291)
6. Angel Pagan (.169)
7. Willie Harris (.273)
8. Daniel Murphy (.226)
9. R.A. Dickey (.200)

Other notes:

• According to Mets.com, tonight’s pitching matchup is: Bud Norris (1-1, 5.06 ERA) vs. R.A. Dickey (1-2, 3.93 ERA).
• Scott Hairston will come off the bench for the Mets.
• Jason Isringhausen will serve as the 8th inning set up man tonight.
• R.A. stands for Robert Allen, according to Wikipedia.org.

We’ll post some sort of recap after the game, unless the game is so awful that it must be immediately forgotten.